1 bottle of water
3 clif bars
1 knit hat
Because no one ever deserves to be hungry and cold.
Two years ago my life was falling apart.
Bankruptcy, divorce, losing my mom to a 4 ½ year battle with ovarian cancer.
I was, almost literally, unmoored. I remember thinking, this is what it feels like to be a ship lost at sea without a way back.
“I want to go home” constantly looped in my head, but I didn’t know what it meant or how to get there. I drank too much, worked too many hours, and tried to stay afloat. My heart was broken. Some days it still is.
This is often what I think about when I see people doing destructive things to themselves or others. Sometimes it’s a small heartbreak and sometimes it’s big.
We don’t do ourselves any favors when we try to deny that heartbreak. I resist the idea that we can gloss over our problems or concerns, or that anyone is doing life better than anyone else. There isn’t a formula, algorithm or app in the world that can tell you how to be human.
Continue reading The best thing I did this year
I have a hard time watching women cut other women down to size.
For me it’s painful because I recognize that the hardest thing to overcome in any group of humans is when an insider or influencer calls out someone else as “not a real [line in the sand of your choosing].”
I wrote a more personal piece about this back in April when I addressed my discomfort with Dove’s “Real Beauty” campaign.
In that model the very thing that’s supposed to ensure legitimacy — hey, this is someone who’s been there and done that, truly one of us — is used as a weapon against or seperator of other people in the group.
For women in American culture this is a constant problem and it’s embedded in a variety of forums, including the workplace.
As a member of the startup / tech ecosystem, I think about these things a lot. Even in a very far forward part of the economy the concepts of access + “how it’s done / what’s normal” are still strong currents, and instutionalized “isms” are at play. I won’t get into a huge discussion of how that works here, since there are other people doing it better (for a thought provoking, but NSFW [language + trigger warning] run down, check out @Shanley’s piece on how women in tech end up reinforcing patriarchy. I don’t agree with everything she has to say, but there are some indictments there that are hard to refute.
Continue reading Men, Women, Tech: Building structure that acknowledges how things are + how they could be
“I want every version of a woman and a man to be possible. I want women and men to be able to be full-time parents or full-time working people or any combination of the two. I want both to be able to do whatever they want sexually without being called names. I want them to be allowed to be weak and strong and happy and sad — human, basically.”
Awesome quote from Natalie Portman via Feministing