Lost Christmas? This May Help Find It…

A good reminder. There’s an element to giving that goes beyond just altruism…it’s a chance to become more, and not less human, something that helps us in all aspects of our life, professional, personal, spiritual, etc…

theinnerwildkat

Ever feel like you’ve lost the spirit of Christmas? I have. As joyful as the holidays can be for most, circumstance, loneliness and various other things can make it difficult to see past your own pain to the beauty and joy of the season.

There’s something so pure and sweet about this performance of “Where Are You Christmas?” Maybe it’s the fact that this young girl hasn’t been overly coached and trained and that the music is allowed to speak for itself, but it definitely reminds me that the spirit of Christmas is found in allowing love to fill your heart.

So if you see someone struggling this holiday season, take a moment. Do something kind for no other reason than it may help someone else feel better. Spread the Christmas cheer… You’d be amazed at the difference a smile can make to a stranger. Or the generosity of letting…

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The best thing I did this year

Two years ago my life was falling apart.

Bankruptcy, divorce, losing my mom to a 4 ½ year battle with ovarian cancer.

I was, almost literally, unmoored. I remember thinking, this is what it feels like to be a ship lost at sea without a way back.

“I want to go home” constantly looped in my head, but I didn’t know what it meant or how to get there. I drank too much, worked too many hours, and tried to stay afloat. My heart was broken. Some days it still is.

This is often what I think about when I see people doing destructive things to themselves or others. Sometimes it’s a small heartbreak and sometimes it’s big.

We don’t do ourselves any favors when we try to deny that heartbreak. I resist the idea that we can gloss over our problems or concerns, or that anyone is doing life better than anyone else. There isn’t a formula, algorithm or app in the world that can tell you how to be human.

Continue reading The best thing I did this year

Men, Women, Tech: Building structure that acknowledges how things are + how they could be

I have a hard time watching women cut other women down to size.

For me it’s painful because I recognize that the hardest thing to overcome in any group of humans is when an insider or influencer calls out someone else as “not a real [line in the sand of your choosing].”

I wrote a more personal piece about this back in April when I addressed my discomfort with Dove’s “Real Beauty” campaign.

In that model the very thing that’s supposed to ensure legitimacy — hey, this is someone who’s been there and done that, truly one of us — is used as a weapon against or seperator of other people in the group.

For women in American culture this is a constant problem and it’s embedded in a variety of forums, including the workplace.

As a member of the startup / tech ecosystem, I think about these things a lot. Even in a very far forward part of the economy the concepts of access + “how it’s done / what’s normal” are still strong currents, and instutionalized “isms” are at play. I won’t get into a huge discussion of how that works here, since there are other people doing it better (for a thought provoking, but NSFW [language + trigger warning] run down, check out @Shanley’s piece on how women in tech end up reinforcing patriarchy. I don’t agree with everything she has to say, but there are some indictments there that are hard to refute.

Continue reading Men, Women, Tech: Building structure that acknowledges how things are + how they could be

“I want every version of a woman and a man to be possible. I want women and men to be able to be full-time parents or full-time working people or any combination of the two. I want both to be able to do whatever they want sexually without being called names. I want them to be allowed to be weak and strong and happy and sad — human, basically.”

Awesome quote from Natalie Portman via Feministing

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