2013 In Review: Let’s get goofy, a new job wayyy up North, two albums + a tour, and I am secretly a 36 year old career woman

I already made a few resolutions and I really don’t want to jinx myself further so I’ve decided to skip right ahead to reviewing this year instead of 2012.

To set the scene…….it’s December 2013. Winter. Very similar to the previous year, and we’ve found out that due to a slight clerical error by Mayan Undersecretary of Timekeeping Ix Chel, it turns out the apocalypse is actually happening THIS year. Thanks a lot, Ix. What a jerk.

Please note that all of the below is Very Serious and none of it is Funny Or Tongue In Cheek In Any Way Whatsoever.

I Got a New Job. Working for The Claus.

It’s been quite a year on the career front. In January I gave myself a new profile img, and noticed how old I look. I went a few days too long on shaving in February and realized I’m on my way to growing a white beard. While this was a little weird at first (I’m 29 for goodness sake) it turned out to be a major boon when I received a call in July from some guy garbling incomprehensibly about wooden toys, candy, and being behind schedule. When I calmed him down enough to get some actual words out it was revealed that his wife demanded he hire a real project manager and the rest is history.

You should buy this photo, frame it, and put it up in your den.

Letting Loose

I’m kind of a weird person in secret but in 2013 I really let my flag fly. Inspired by other weirdos (you know who you are, right?) I got down with my goofy self. I did my second ever stand-up comedy set (the first one was a disaster, but that’s another story). I wrote about some embarrassing moments in my life. And I stopped restraining the awkward laughs, at the expense of my reputation as the serious, buttoned up type. Yes, I am still incredibly responsible, and think way too much. But hey, it wasn’t a bad start. I recommend letting your weird out, it’s a blast.

Music To My Ears

After threatening to write a proper album for a couple of years, 2013 exceeded all expectations when I wrote not one, but two albums of solo material. Granted, there were a few gimme songs, like “I paid more taxes in 2013 than I did in 2012” and the surprisingly popular tautological anthem “This is the song that I have written that you are listening to on your stereo that you purchased for listening to songs.”

I also went on a tour of the South and the East Coast and discovered that people are nice everywhere. Unfortunately this included one man in Hephzibah, Georgia offering me his rather worn boxers when he noticed I’d played a gig without any on. I don’t really want to talk about how he noticed OR the state of the boxers he offered me.

I am secretly a 36 year old woman who loves pantsuits.

After years in the closet I finally accepted that I am secretly a career woman in my late 30s stuck in a 29 year old guy’s body. I spent a lot of time in the past trying to pretend that I wasn’t reading mommy blogs and columns by career women when in fact I’m kind of obsessed with them and am fascinated with the career vs. kids conversation. Apparently my intellectual and spiritual self relates closely to women in their mid to late 30s. It’s kinda weird. I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand. I blame The Atlantic for all those articles about professional women trying to be successful while balancing home life. Did I mention one of my idols is Hillary Clinton? You are forbidden on pain of death from mentioning this to my dude friends, but for the luffagod that woman is smart and has such a perfect sense of style that it’s just ridiculous.

Hillary Clinton Kicks Ass.

So there you have it. 2013 Was A Great Year. I can’t wait for 2014.



21 thoughts on “2013 In Review: Let’s get goofy, a new job wayyy up North, two albums + a tour, and I am secretly a 36 year old career woman”

  1. I can’t stop laughing over the mental image of you trawling through women’s blogs on a laptop or kicking back with a women’s magazine on the sofa, enraptured by all the problems and issues that us 30-something career women face. Lol. Really good post though, you’ve inspired me to plan how 2013 went for me in advance!! Hope 2014 is just as amazing for you 😛

    1. So far I’m the only guy I know who does this but I suspect there others. I used to be hesitant about sharing that sort of thing, but I’m pretty comfortable in dudeville these days too so that’s helped.

      Though to be clear, I am not a fan of either the Cosmo or Maxim school of thought. Such trash and so unhelpful in helping balance the masculine / feminine energy in oneself. Write that 2013 review! I’ll hop over and read it =)

      1. I’m in 100% agreement on Cosmo / Maxim… there are certainly others who do this but I’m just pleased you’re doing it for the right reasons! The men I know who read women’s mags do it so they have a ‘toolkit’ for getting women to fall for them (clearly their intentions are somewhat south of honorable)…

        Just out of interest, how DOES one balance their masculine / feminine energies??

        And I will write it! This is exciting… It’s like I’m pre-writing history 🙂

  2. Yeah I keep very clear of the MRA/pickup artist types. Bad stuff in general.

    Re: balancing masculine / feminine energy, I’m not qualified to make any universal statements, but for me it has to do with honest assessment of one’s personal qualities. Have you seen Brene Brown’s Ted Talk? http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

    She talks about some really interesting things you can learn when you open your heart/mind/soul up. I think there are intrinsic qualities rooted in chemistry (testosterone v. estrogen for example) but that humans are much more fluid than the gender labels we are assigned.

  3. I’ve seen it now. That was the most incredible and worthwhile 20 mins I’ve spent in a long, long time. I’m actually speechless (not a usual state of being for me!!)

    1. Definitely, it’s quite an amazing talk. I’ve watched it several times in the last year…my understanding of it has deepened and I’ve learned something new each time.

  4. Too funny. Last month I was just reviewing Brene’ Brown’s books. Embracing your “feminine side” is just “fabulous”, Joe! 😉 Maybe you could stop over in your pantsuit one day and watch me fix my vehicle? lol It’s true. Much to my chagrin I have been forced to embrace my masculine side. We’ll have to agree to disagree with regard to Hillary. Bring on 2014! 😀

    1. Oh I’m sensing a photo op here…. =P

      I’m guessing your objections to Hillary are policy / political ideology? Regardless of policy I’ve found her to be impressively capable in navigating the DCFishbowl. Or maybe you are not a pantsuit fan huh;)

      1. Indeed! A great photo op.

        Yes, I’ll give you that. Hillary is a capable navigator. Pantsuits frighten me…no matter who they are on. lol

      2. HEY! That’s what I need for my “man work”! One of the blue coverall jumpsuits…with a “Ralph” name embroidered on it!

      3. PUSS! Ooops sorry. I DO have manners…really. hahahaha I just can’t resist. I have impulsivity issues. snicker

      1. Just allowing myself to feel vulnerable! 🙂 Besides, I have observed the sexes for years and know for a fact that men are more apt to call a guy “pussy” for being afraid of robots and androids in coveralls. Thanks kindly for the pass though. 😀

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