Year of questions: What about people who don’t want to have children?

Are they just denying biology?

I’ve met people who seem fine, probably better off without kids. Then again, there are plenty of people out there who feel that having children is the ultimate goal for humans, which I think personally is kind of a short sighted attitude. But I do wonder if we’re supposed to all have children, or is there some genetic group that just doesn’t want or need them.


4 thoughts on “Year of questions: What about people who don’t want to have children?”

  1. Kids aren’t for everyone. I never wanted kids. I knew they’d be more work than I wanted to deal with. However, through lack of precautions and simple biology I have two boys.
    Turns out I was right, they are work. A lot of it. More than I think people realize.
    Babies are great and all – predictable little bundles of crying and pooping. They start babbling and moving “ooooh look at them!” Everyone wants one of those. People get baby fever.

    Given the inherent selfishness of American’s its odd how we’d want to give the next 20 years of ourselves to someone else. Being thrown up on, being told I HATE YOU! being lied to.
    I feel like people’s mentality is that “I want a baby to dress up and bathe and cuddle with and sing to! A sweet innocent baby!” They don’t realize that the reality is, you’re not having a baby. You’re having a person.

    If when you had kids, you started with a teenager, I think far fewer people would feel the drive to have children, because frankly, teenagers suck. They already know EVERYTHING but somehow its our job to get them ready for the big, bad world. THIS is where you learn to parent. No one gets ‘teenager fever’. Oh I cannot WAIT to have a teen!

    My husband and I have been married over a year now. We are NOT having more children. He has no children of his own – and is totally fine and cool with that. Being a step dad is more responsibility than he ever thought he’d have . People ask us “when are you having kids?!” We say “uh, never?” And the response is always the same…”Awwww?” Like they’d enjoy an explanation…but not about how rough teenagers are on your sanity, or how you like sleeping all night long…Frankly, I don’t know what people want to hear. But that’s the truth of the matter. I like to sleep. I’m looking forward to spending the majority of my paycheck on myself. I’d like to not hear someone making food in the kitchen at 2am…I’m not going to be any closer to that if I have a baby now!

  2. “No one gets ‘teenager fever’. Oh I cannot WAIT to have a teen!”

    I laughed so hard at this….teenage fever….that’ll be the day.

    One of my friends (she’s a woman) is always saying there’s no way any woman or man would have kids if it wasn’t for biology. I mean, the rational mind isn’t exactly going to get hyped on the thought of dealing with babies, much less snotty teenagers. It’s definitely something with significant pros AND cons. And I see why there are more young parents, the older I get the less I feel like it’s something I’ll want to devote 20 years of my life to. Selfish American, yes I can! =)

  3. This always struck me as interesting. It sounds really disjointed and cynical; but if we didn’t spawn children the industries and lifestyles we grow accustomed to would halt or at-least be slowed. The preoccupation with something you have created biologically is worshipped in society, whereas the woe attached to the childless is commiserated or sympathised with…even if it is an intelligent or thoughtful action on behalf of the would-be-parent.

    But the older I get the more it confuses me; way easier to be endlessly sarcastic and dystopian when I’m not holding a relatives baby in my arms, or playing football with my nephew in the park…which provides this weird level of indescribable bliss. Maybe “the breeders” got it right….or maybe they are fuelling this fire to ignore their own inadequate descent into old age and death by focusing on new life.

    I can’t work it out.

    1. Yeah I do find myself conflicted regarding kids, there’s a sort of built in responsibility that I can see but as I’ve grown older it seems to matter less and less. I’m not sure there is a tradeoff that doesn’t involve regrets.

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