Year of questions: Are there healthy fantasies?

I was talking with my friend about “girlporn” which is basically shorthand for life fantasies that women sometimes develop, as opposed to the more literal definition of porn that men get tagged with. It got me to thinking about what would constitute a “good” fantasy. In other words, one that allows for some escape but does not promote unhealthy behavior and/or lead to living in unrealistic ways.

One of the difficulties about understanding fantasies is that the concept of “this could happen” is what gives them power.  In fact, some fantasies are meant only to exist in your imagination, and accepting/having proper dialogue with oneself about this defuses their potential power to disrupt. When we start blurring that line is when there’s potential for trouble.

I think this is also a big reason people in relationships get into trouble. “Healthy” fantasies seem possible to me, but having clear lines and being honest with yourself to begin with is essential.


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