Year of questions: Should you hold out on sex?


I figured it was time for a (seemingly) less serious question….

Reading this list of rules for women on a first date I was moderately surprised that #2 was “Don’t Have Sex.”

I’m familiar with Steve Harvey’s 90 day rule for women who are dating a man, and I think he’s got some good reasoning. At first I thought to myself, well I don’t automatically value someone based on whether they are having sex with me or not, but then I thought about it and realized maybe that’s irrelevant to the reason not to have sex with someone on a first date, or in early stages of the relationship.

Admittedly, biology rules our lives. I have friends who are smart, funny, wise, etc.. but got themselves involved with people who were just plain incompatible on spiritual/intellectual/emotional levels. Truthfully it’s happened to me too.

In those cases it sure seems like sex ended up obscuring the work that needed to be done to reveal incompatibility on core values.



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