I dreamed I was with my mom in Colorado, it was not long before she died….in the dream we were at the top of a beautiful mountain town, after lunch and a day we were on the winding road down when she said “I just want a community, we need a community, maybe one or two things to build it.”
There were other elements in the dream, some of which was tangled up, but the messaging was so clear it woke me up with a start. For as long as I can remember my mom has always focused on community, it was the most valuable resource on earth to her. When we were kids in Molokai’i the connection with families in the food co-op or neighbors, to moving to Albuquerque, which in part because of finances was barren of enriching community elements, through all of that my mom struggled for community. Even at the end of her life, it was a focus. Some of her happiest moments last year were at my sister’s house, everyone gathered for a Saturday dinner, or talking long into the night with a various assortment of my friends at a barbeque in my backyard.
My mom loved social situations, but whether she knew it or not she was also amazing at community building. When she was in a room with any person it became a community, and the shared bond made things feel better, somehow more important, and significant, an affirmation that even the act of being alive by itself had a greater meaning. This affinity was passed on to me, although it has certainly been difficult the last several months because it’s something that’s tied to the grief around not having my mother anymore.