Blessed

Yesterday after work I got drunk instead of running. I used to be a competitive distance runner, but it’s been a couple of years so I’ve been trying to run most days. I got about 200 yards though, and decided that it’d be better to go to the bar instead.I drank a sufficient amount to get me sloshed, and then went home. I didn’t really want to get drunk, I just didn’t want to be not drunk either. I’d say it was an acceptable response considering recent events. I’m negotiating a divorce, trying to care for my mom while cancer kicks the hell out of her body, and trying to get my life together financially after a bankruptcy.

But seriously, in spite of all of this, I seem to be doing well. I’m not and won’t be a hardcore alcoholic, I’ve got a good job that I like, and friends who care about how I’m actually doing. It’s easy to get messed up thinking about how your life could be better, and how it sucks now.

I’m not sure where this comes from. I suspect it’s a combination of that’s just how we are as humans and the fact that we’re inundated day after day with messages that tell us we aren’t good enough. You don’t look good, you don’t smell good, you aren’t smart enough, you’re going to look like a loser/geek/jerk/douchebag and the list goes on. Who gives an eff, right? I mean, I could spend the next 50 years of my life taking this stuff to heart and still end up useless. Until someone invents a matching jogging suit that can travel me halfway around the world and spit fire at my enemies, I could care less.

But we’re blessed anyway. Not by sausage egg mcmuffins at McDonald’s, or the latest season of True Blood on Blu-Ray. Not even by money, a good job or boss, or healthcare benefits, or some other measuring stick for success.

We’re blessed by the world we live in. With clean air and water, and blue sky and a universe that has an inherent sense of humor and an eye for making things better when they need to be better. We’re blessed by our ability to turn off our stupid minds that keep us busy chasing nothing. We’re blessed by the presence of other people in our lives. We’re blessed to be here.

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